A reinvention or transformation often occurs for women at midlife. Sometimes it arises from an inner need to gain clarity and sometimes it appears like an unwelcome bolt from the blue. Whatever the cause the effects can be life changing.
Golden Threads – Women’s shared Wisdom from the Tapestry of Life
Golden Threads is a book compilation with stories contributed by women in midlife. I decided to submit a chapter because I feel it is important for women to take advantage of the internet to get their voice heard. This is particularly relevant for women in midlife which is when many report that they feel invisible.
In addition it would be a new and interesting experience in publishing for me. To be completely truthful I was also swayed by the cover design which I liked very much, which was shown with the initial invitation to take part.
The book includes a wide selection of events that have made a real difference to each individuals’ life. Stories within the book range from situations that happened earlier in life and have a lasting impact, to those that happen in midlife or later. They include life threatening diagnosis, discovery of different environments, relationships, spiritual experiences and connections.
Reaching a more diverse audience
Stories about middle aged or older women are gradually becoming more acceptable to the commercial publishers and film makers. Previously all heroines tended to be young not middle aged, and the really interesting acting parts rarely went to older women. More recently M in James Bond films was played by Judi Dench who certainly would have collected her pension years before, and Maggie Smith stole the show as the dowager in Downton.
Sue Williams who had organised similar collaborative projects had the initial idea of a published book. Once we had submitted our chapters and kept to the word count limit there was some proofing work to be done. Then it was published and available on amazon and through Waterstones.
When we got together for our initial kick off meeting we talked about making it available to a bigger audience through audio. We were keen to reach those who found it difficult to read through failing eyesight or neurodiversity and the growing numbers who prefer to listen rather than read. Many books are now available as audio versions and are a growing form of revenue for traditional publishers. The audio market is projected to be about 40m US dollars in 2025 and it is expected there will up to 27 million users in the UK by 2030. (Statista).
Several of our group enjoyed audio books, so we decided to get into the recording studio and record the audible version. Podcasts are similarly popular and those who wished to added a podcast episode. Sue Williams the instigator of the whole project was in the studio with me and asked questions which made a nice contrast between speaking the chapter, and having a conversation. Audio requirements for audible are exacting, and we wanted the podcast to have the same high professional audio quality.
In terms of authenticity we felt that standing up for our stories and personally recording them and doing the podcast was a beneficial development. I mentioned earlier that often older women are perceived as not having a valuable contribution. The emphasis on youth and beauty in the media means that many women from midlife onwards feel less visible. This book aims to correct the imbalance so we wanted to speak up.
Launch of the audible book
We held a launch event around the time of the audible version being released. We each talked about our own chapter and the event was generously hosted by Paramjit Oberoi. There was a party atmosphere which included a very splendid cake!
Books were bought by those who attended, and we signed copies which created very enjoyable feelings about being an author! When I worked in publishing I attended many author events and looked after authors at book signings, so this was a resonant moment for me.
Writing about life events as an older woman
In my “day job” helping women stand up for themselves and their business or viewpoint I have often heard comments like:
Oh nobody would be interested in me
I don’t have any stories to tell
I don’t know what to say
And it often appears that they are lacking in clarity about their strengths and contribution. So with all that knowledge I thought it would be easy to write my own chapter about the golden thread that could be seen in my own life.
And to be truthful I think I find it easier to look after others than talk about myself.
Finding the theme for my own chapter of the Golden Threads book
The scale of the project felt comfortable: We had a word count of 2000 words. It allowed for depth while not making it too arduous, and is roughly what a really important “Cornerstone” blog post should be. Compared with about 70,000 words for a novel and anywhere from 30 – 60 thousand words for non fiction I felt confident. At the start I didn’t have any immediate ideas but assumed they would arrive quickly.
Personally I have had a number of big midlife challenges – in childhood and later. Disease, Divorce, Death – all the D’s. All unwanted and which arrived suddenly without warning. But I had a strong resistance to writing about any of them and loved the visual idea of a golden thread running through my life. So I decided I to go on a journey of detection to discover the themes and patterns that may have reoccurred for me.
This is such a useful activity to undertake. I had done it a number of times with clients (and recommend it in the book “Distinctive Voice”) with regard to smaller details but not yet looked at my entire life so forensically. As with all good stories there is often a key or a clue which leads to the unravelling of the plot. Then the “throughline” of the story can be found. The truth is that it is often difficult to see in your own life.
Space to think
I needed a period of reflection and in order to think or do anything creative I think the first requirement is Space. Cooped up inside with hands on a keyboard does not result in good ideas for me. So I needed more space.
I often get inspiration when on a walk and in nature, so that was my initial response. I deliberately went where I would find nature which is always calming and I went on my own. The countryside is beautiful near me, and there are commons up on the top of hills with far distant views. I felt this would be the perfect place so I went there.
I expected that ideas would come to me almost by magic, as they often do. But although I had a lovely walk, enjoyed the views, the wandering cows and the occasional conversations with other walkers no bright ideas came to me. I knew that worrying about it would be extremely unhelpful. So I just trusted they would come.
I took photographs of WHAT TOOK MY EYE , But I did not come up with any clear answers. Then I thought I might have a dream that that might bring clarity – but that too failed!
Effect of the deadline.
The deadline started to loom. I knew that getting into a panic and writing the first thing I thought of would not be satisfying. So I deliberately kept calm. I used the deadline to help me to make time for the work. The deadline helped me to bring it to top of mind, and say no to other activities. But I needed it to be enjoyable and not full of panic.
So I asked myself questions, and just let my mind wander. Not about what I wanted to write but about emotions which would lead to what I was finding important. So I asked myself what I have not enjoyed recently, as well as what I have enjoyed. I kept the whole thing very light – more a “musing” than an interrogation which I know is more productive for me.
It was when I was not “thinking” in fact I was doing something mindless like washing up and tidying the kitchen when I got the answer. I realised I wanted to write about things I enjoy as I didn’t want the chapter to be about loss and misery. Immediately I thought back to the day recently when my small grandson had been with me, and we had as usual had a lovely time together. He was too young for complex speech, so much of our time had been playing together.
Boom! When I thought about what had happened I realised I had found the place where it could all start. And then another memory came to me when on my own in the quiet library at school, and I decided I had found the first two pieces of a jigsaw.
Being present
I continued to check out this idea with events in my life , both “good” and “bad”. I realised in all those cases I was very present to what was going on. Even if it was sad or scary, but obviously especially when it was enjoyable. And the mantra that has worked for me and my clients even has this as the second stage of creativity. P for being Present and fully engaged.
I thought of some more instances including the fact that I take part in improvisation which completely relies on being present and not relying on anything rehearsed. So I followed my own advice and became “present” to the writing and sat at the keyboard and started to type.
I wrote till I felt I had said all I wanted to, and did not worry about slavishly being constricted by the word count or by grammar. Nor did I go back and double check or proof read what I had written.
Allowing time to pass and my subconscious to work
I put the chapter out of my mind for a day or two although some new useful ideas did occur to me which I just scribbled as notes on a piece of paper. But mostly I wanted my subconscous mind to get to work and maybe come up with any new insights in a completely organic and relaxed way.
Refining and editing
Refining the work is done with a critical brain. Not to find fault but to look for improvements. In the publishing industry this activity is broken down into different job titles. When it is just you obviously you do all the activities but with a similar focus.
The first stage is to look at the big picture. What is the big idea or question? Does what you have written fulfil that? I needed to find proof in my own life to justify my assertion that being present has been a golden thread in mine. The stories provide interest and variety and show rather than simply tell what it is all about.
Then it is time to look at the tone of voice and whether that is appropriate for the person you would like to read it with interest. Language matters – not just spellings and grammatical errors – especially if this is non fiction and not simply creative. Although there is much more understanding about neuro diversity and dyslexia and very badly spelt piece of writing will tend to make readers devalue what they are reading.
It is very easy to miss mistakes and typos. Even with software such as Grammarly, or a final check through AI. But my recommendation is to use Ai at the planning stage not to write the piece at all. It is often better to have a friendly pair of human eyes lok over what you have written.
Knowledge gained during any project
The final part of any activity is to identitfy what you have learned. So that any mistakes can be avoided in the future and you move forward with more knowledge and confidence. Anything you write or speak becomes a business asset and does a lot of your marketing work for you so he more easily you can do it, and the more effective you can make it, will be a huge bonus for your business.
SPARK – the acronym for a writing project.
By taking part in this project I learned more about myself and undertook activities and met people I like and who might help me in the future. Collaborating with others is an enjoyable way to work and can bring many rewards. If you get the chance to work with others I suggest you take it.
Summary
Producing a book or an ebook involves the two separate skills of writing and also prmoting it. Add in audio for podcasts or doing the rading for audible and you need an additional skill set. Ultimately though if nothing is written there will be nothing to promote. I give my suggested sequence of activities for writing – whether that is fiction or non fiction.